I use my yearly "week by week" planner as more of a "life journal" than a planner...
I mean, it's hard to "plan" anything when no matter what I write down that I need to do, appointments, etc -- "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of PANDAS" will laugh hysterically at that... So many times I've had appointments written down in ink, only to wake up the next morning to Brandon having a seizure which essentially erases that day's "plans".
So I suppose this is more my diary than any semblance of a planner.
Each year when I get a new yearly "week by week" planner, I transfer all the significant events I wanted to remember from the past year, to that corresponding date in the new year...so that when that day comes, I can look back at that event and be reminded of all it meant to me...in the good, bad, or ugly. The good events an encouragement, a reminder of how God provided. The bad and ugly events, well, something to simply look back on but not stare. As perhaps a reminder that God got me through... How it was very bad awful, but I got through it. How I survived when at the time I felt there was no way I could.
And as you can see from the picture above, January 24th was a day to write in my planner/journal as a day to remember. A significant event to be written down to not forget...
This post isn't about those stories because again, you can read them by clicking those links...
This post is about the picture. The events that happened. The day to remember.
It's as if God said to me that day, "Michelle, you know as well as I do, that before this year ends, shit will most likely hit the fan a time or two in your life with Brandon...things will sometimes be good, sometimes bad, sometimes ugly. When those very bad ugly days come, remember this day. Remember when I saved Brandon from what could have been a very deadly fall. Remember when I spared you from a car wreck that could have taken your life... When you are in that pit of isolation and confusion and you feel you are all alone and I'm not there, remember that I was, in a very profound way. When you wish I would do this or that, remember how I see the big picture. How I did what you needed when you didn't even know it was needed..."
God and I have these kinds of conversations. He knows me. He knows my life. It's as if he had to show me on this day in this New Year - how he is present, and how he will still be present come December.
It's like, "Let's just get this straight right now...I'm here...I will always be here when you are going through times when you feel I'm not here..."
And there have been many, many, many times when I was going through something in this "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of PANDAS" that I did not think God was there. Where I could not feel his presence or hear his voice.
This day was a reminder in this New Year that he is here.
And always will be.
We all have such "Life with Autism in Pictures" moments throughout the year where we feel we will never survive...we can't go on...
Allow this to be my reminder to you that those times will merely be "a day to remember" at the end of the year. A day to look back on as that reminder how you indeed survived.